Baltasar Gracian, a Jesuit scholar who
lived in 17th century Spain, once observed men in positions of power
and concluded that, with intelligence and a rein on one’s emotions, almost
anyone could master a situation and be successful. In short
, that if you want
to achieve the most in life you must be wise in all your dealings.
Here are some helpful ideas on how to do
just that:
First, there is no road TO happiness. It
is a road OF happiness. We often miss the great things in life because we
expect happiness in the future, ignoring the many miracles that are ours to
enjoy if we but take greater notice. So, appreciate the little things more as
well as the big. Ask yourself: When was the last time you felt the heartbeat of
your child or looked up in awe at the night sky? Better yet, did so with a
loved one?
Second, don’t let a little dispute ruin
a great relationship. Far too many people fill up with resentment rather than
forgiveness during a conflict. Such individuals break very easily, revealing
how fragile and insecure they really are. Resolve to meet anger with love,
considering more of your rich history than the poverty of the moment. Don’t be
made of glass.
Third, one of the greatest antidotes to
self-centeredness and pride is in finding something bigger than yourself to
believe in. It’s ironic how those who feel the highest actually score the
lowest in any test for measuring happiness. The actress Goldie Hawn once said:
“My father used to tell me, ‘Goldie, when you feel too big for your britches,
just go stand in front of that big ocean and feel how small you are.”
Fourth,
as the ancient proverb goes, “a good name is to be chosen rather than great
riches.” Our names really do carry a lot of weight, either for good or bad
depending on how we choose to conduct ourselves. The ancient Samurai used to say
that “an ancestors good or evil can be determined by the conduct of his
descendants.”
It
is my belief then that a descendant should act in a way that will manifest the
good in his ancestors and not the bad. In short, remember who you are and act how
you would like to be remembered.
Fifth,
problems, like rain, are a natural part of life. Resolve to not run indoors
whenever hard times come. Often it is from the soaking that we find a renewed
sense of peace and joy. Remember that problems are inevitable but the misery we
feel is a choice. Accept the fact that nobody gets through life without some
sorrow and misfortune. Let it rain.
Six,
let go of the past. You may look but don’t stare. For dwelling on past mistakes
and hurts only feeds feelings of inadequacy while ignoring opportunities to
change now. To live in the past is like driving with both eyes on the rear-view
mirror. It’s unsafe, unproductive, and blinds you to what is ahead.
Seven,
don’t ever bury your talents. The ancient Samurai also used to say that if a
sword is always sheathed, it will become rusty, the blade will dull, and people
will think as much of its owner. Make known your strengths and most especially
your affections for others by drawing out your love to keep confidence high and
your relationships strong and sharp.
Eight,
live up to your portion. Be grateful for what you do have rather than murmur
about what you don’t. If you’re spending all of your time in the future then you
will fail to appreciate all that you have now. Socrates said, “He who is not
content with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to
have.”
Nine,
take time to be. Ironically, there are far more human ‘doings’ in the world
than human ‘beings.’ Pause brings peace and stillness greater clarity. Melville
once said, “In the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and
joy.” Dedicate a time, daily, to go to the scenery you love most for renewal
and to think about your life and whether you are accomplishing what you really
want.
Ten, live five minutes at a time. It is
said that in ancient Rome, when a victorious general paraded through the
streets, his accompanying servant would whisper in his ear: “Memento mori.” Or,
“remember your mortality.” Never forget this wise counsel. Life takes on a
whole new meaning when you realize time is limited. Don’t waste it. Live for
the applause of friends and family who will have become better people simply by
knowing you. Strive to be missed, not replaced.
