10 Steps to a Finer Life

Baltasar Gracian, a Jesuit scholar who lived in 17^th century Spain, once observed men in positions of power and concluded that, with intelligence and a rein on one’s emotions, almost anyone could master a situation and be successful. In short, that if you want to achieve the most in life you must be wise in all your dealings.

Here are some helpful ideas on how to do just that:

First, there is no road TO happiness. It is a road OF happiness. We often miss the great things in life because we expect happiness in the future, ignoring the many miracles that are ours to enjoy if we but take greater notice. So, appreciate the little things more as well as the big. Ask yourself: When was the last time you felt the heartbeat of your child or looked up in awe at the night sky? Better yet, did so with a loved one?

Second, don’t let a little dispute ruin a great relationship. Far too many people fill up with resentment rather than forgiveness during a conflict. Such individuals break very easily, revealing how fragile and insecure they really are. Resolve to meet anger with love, considering more of your rich history than the poverty of the moment. Don’t be made of glass.

Third, one of the greatest antidotes to self-centeredness and pride is in finding something bigger than yourself to believe in. It’s ironic how those who feel the highest actually score the lowest in any test for measuring happiness. The actress Goldie Hawn once said: “My father used to tell me, ‘Goldie, when you feel too big for your britches, just go stand in front of that big ocean and feel how small you are.”

Fourth, as the ancient proverb goes, “a good name is to be chosen rather than great riches.” Our names really do carry a lot of weight, either for good or bad depending on how we choose to conduct ourselves. The ancient Samurai used to say that “an ancestors good or evil can be determined by the conduct of his descendants.”

It is my belief then that a descendant should act in a way that will manifest the good in his ancestors and not the bad. In short, remember who you are and act how you would like to be remembered.

Fifth, problems, like rain, are a natural part of life. Resolve to not run indoors whenever hard times come. Often it is from the soaking that we find a renewed sense of peace and joy. Remember that problems are inevitable but the misery we feel is a choice. Accept the fact that nobody gets through life without some sorrow and misfortune. Let it rain.

                                                                    

Six, let go of the past. You may look but don’t stare. For dwelling on past mistakes and hurts only feeds feelings of inadequacy while ignoring opportunities to change now. To live in the past is like driving with both eyes on the rear-view mirror. It’s unsafe, unproductive, and blinds you to what is ahead.

Seven, don’t ever bury your talents. The ancient Samurai also used to say that if a sword is always sheathed, it will become rusty, the blade will dull, and people will think as much of its owner. Make known your strengths and most especially your affections for others by drawing out your love to keep confidence high and your relationships strong and sharp.

Eight, live up to your portion. Be grateful for what you do have rather than murmur about what you don’t. If you’re spending all of your time in the future then you will fail to appreciate all that you have now. Socrates said, “He who is not content with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”

Nine, take time to be. Ironically, there are far more human ‘doings’ in the world than human ‘beings.’ Pause brings peace and stillness greater clarity. Melville once said, “In the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy.” Dedicate a time, daily, to go to the scenery you love most for renewal and to think about your life and whether you are accomplishing what you really want.

Ten, live five minutes at a time. It is said that in ancient Rome, when a victorious general paraded through the streets, his accompanying servant would whisper in his ear: “Memento mori.” Or, “remember your mortality.” Never forget this wise counsel. Life takes on a whole new meaning when you realize time is limited. Don’t waste it. Live for the applause of friends and family who will have become better people simply by knowing you. Strive to be missed, not replaced.