The Candy Bar

Throughout my life, I have learned and been blessed by many things. But one of the greatest blessings I remember to this day came when I was just a young boy.

Despite having an abundance of love and testimony in the home, my family’s own temporal needs were another matter. To be clear, we had very little to get by on and at times were left with nothing more than just our faith in the Lord to make it through. But in every struggle there would always come a greater blessing, one which I was about to learn personally for myself.

The day came when I received an invitation to a close friend’s birthday party. As excited as I was, I remember going to the store with my mother to pick out a gift, one I was hoping would be the very best of all for my very best friend. But, to my regret, I was reminded once more that such a gift could not be afforded due to the very limited budget we were on.

Then, with a wise and always reassuring smile, my mother gently offered me a simple candy bar as a replacement gift for my friend.

As I looked at that substitute present, I couldn’t help but feel sad. I was sad that I wouldn’t have a decent gift to give my friend and felt even more embarrassed about what everyone else would say and think about me – as the kid who gave a candy bar instead of a toy. In fact, I began to favor not going to the party at all in an effort to save myself from what I believed would be a total and guaranteed humiliation.

On the day of the party, with a still nervous stomach and fearful heart, I placed the candy bar on the table next to the other gifts noticing once more the little red ribbon my mother had carefully helped me tie around it.

Shortly after, the time came when all the presents were to be opened. A feeling of dread came over me as I watched my friend finally pick up my meager gift.

But upon noticing it, and to my complete surprise, he smiled wide and expressed his appreciation and thrill for the candy bar I had given him. Words cannot describe the peace and joy I felt in my heart at that moment, both for my friend’s accepting gesture and for the lesson my mother had just then taught me about what it means to truly give.

Since that day, I have reflected on the experience many times and have felt the love of my Heavenly Father in every opportunity I have had to give and be of service to others. I have appreciated the gift of goodly parents who taught me that it can feel good to give, even when you feel that your offering seems inadequate and small. I have also learned that the Lord is mindful of our sacrifices and will bless us if we but serve Him and those around us cheerfully.

Most importantly, I have come to feel in all its fervor the power of the scripture: “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).

As I study the words and life of the Savior, I am reminded of His tender mercies and of the many ways He gave throughout his ministry. I remember that God loves a cheerful giver, even when all that can be given is a candy bar. 

The Family in the Age of Technology

A recent study claimed that American adults used their smartphones about 12 percent of the time in the shower, 19 percent within a church or place of worship, 32 percent at a child’s function taking place at school, 33 percent while on a dinner date, 35 percent while in a movie theater and 55 percent while driving their automobile.

The same study concluded that when it comes to smartphones and relationships, approximately 12 percent of adults believe they get in the way of pursuing intimate relationships with over 70 percent keeping their smartphones within five feet of themselves at all times.

I admit that the findings of this study were not at all surprising to me. In fact, the sobering results only reaffirm to me the many woes and consequences of living in a technological age where apps and upgrades are as prevailing as the present divorce rate.

Since the advent of media at our fingertips, I have wondered at what point we will all just stop paying attention to each other completely and find that family interaction requires more of a conscious effort than natural drive.

This was made clear to me one afternoon when I entered the office and saw a family sitting in the lobby, apart and spaced out, with mom and dad on smartphones and the children texting and playing video games. What struck me the most was not the observed disconnect this family seemed to have with each other, but rather the sound it all produced – silence. Not a single word was spoken.

Let me be clear that I am not anti-technology or smartphone. I believe they do contain many functions and benefits that are both educational and informative. However, I have learned that the brighter the light the darker the shadow with the latter cast by social media dimming our homes from a warm and nurturing environment loving and respectful relationships need to thrive in.

Any farmer will tell you that preparation is important to a successful season in much the same way a well-connected family works to uphold positive and personal attention for one another. But, when the same farmer or parent has become a mobile device, what kind of quality care and attention can the crop, or the family, really receive? Nothing of real substance.

It is therefore both my professional and personal concern that the current trend of mobile distractions will only divide our attentions more from the things that matter most to things that matter least if we choose to keep our heads lowered in neglect of those around us. 

For what real value is our helpfulness if it can only be seen on screen than heard and felt in person?

No doubt there will always be distractions that attempt to pull one away from his or her core family, but that is the test laid before us which we must all strive to pass by protecting the humanity within ourselves and our close relationships.

Albert Einstein once purported that the day would come when technology would overlap humanity and what would be left is a ‘generation of idiots.’ This would be a funnier prediction if it wasn’t already fulfilled. Now it’s just the sad truth of the rising generation and the modern family.

But we need not despair, especially as parents, because we know what life was like prior to the advent of social media and mobile devices.

And if the past seems foggy, here’s a few descriptive words to help generate some ideas to discuss and exemplify within our own homes:

Patience, sacrifice, work, love, respect, responsibility, accountability and thrift.

Such memories and attributes ought to be shared more often with our loved ones for their understanding and emotional growth. That beyond the phone there lies a person (a child, spouse, friend) with feelings and passions who would feel more connected and cared for by way of a hug, a walk, your listening ear, a kindly deed and word or just a little bit of your time spent face to face - no distractions.

It’s ironic that the way we counter the distracting effects of technology on our lives is to distract ourselves away from them. In essence, to unplug ourselves from the matrix of social media in order to reconnect with reality, beginning with our families at both mealtime and playtime.

So, let us lay down our phones and electronic devices in favor of those around us, giving them our undivided attention and support as if we had only five minutes left to live. Because, in the end, what will really matter more and carry the greatest weight, the text or the talk?

True Meaning of Friendship

Been reading about General Armistead and his friend, General Hancock in the Civil War and the true ties they maintained throughout the conflict. It's a sweet story and leaves me thinking of how important friends are in life. I have always loved the scripture in 2 Corinthians 7:6 where Paul, after suffering much, his "flesh having no rest" and who "without were fightings and within were fears," was comforted by the coming of Titus, or the arrival of a friend. 

Sad that Armistead and Hancock never did have their reunion in the war as they were both wounded with Armistead died. As portrayed in the movie, Gettysburg, the actor Richard Jordan beautifully portrays what real friendship is all about. I love when he wishes God to strike him dead if he ever raised a hand against his friend, General Hancock. 

I also love that Irish folk song, Kathleen Mauvorneen (or Mauvornin) which is sung in that same scene. I call my own wife 'mauvornin' now as it means "my darling." :)

Anyway, just a real nice story about two soldiers who never forgot what was most important - each other. Kind of like marriage, always knowing that you're never alone.

Former President Rutherford B Hayes said this about William Hancock [but also how all men ought to strive to be remembered]: “[i]f, when we make up our estimate of a public man, conspicuous both as a soldier and in civil life, we are to think first and chiefly of his manhood, his integrity, his purity, his singleness of purpose, and his unselfish devotion to duty, we can truthfully say of Hancock that he was through and through pure gold.” 

Here's that scene with Armistead talking about his friend, Hancock "the Superb." 

https://youtu.be/U1xLCnzsvfw

Honor and Integrity

In an age when many people look toward the Federal Government for succor and rescue than to God and their own individual responsibilities, it helps to look back about 150 years to learn how those who gave so much in their service to the nation during the Civil War responded to government assistance after the conflict. I reference a few examples provided by my father, who is a historian at the Historical Society of Pennsylvania. He writes:

"In an article entitled, "A True Patriot," appearing in the Lebanon {PA} Courier, on January 20th, 1870, an account was given from the 'Commissioners of Pensions,' who had received a letter from a DANIEL K. WILD, former private in Co. 'K,' 84th Pennsylvania Volunteers, residing at Abbott Village, in Maine. The letter from Wild to the Federal government's pension office, stated how, "the writer had regained his health, an can get along without his pension. He therefore requests that his name be stricken from the pension rolls."

As one can imagine, such denial of monies, drew the attention of the Pension Bureau, and prompted Commissioner Van Aernam to write Daniel Wild and let him know that his "request has been granted." The Commissioner continued:

"Living in an age when the honest impulses of the great mass of the people are blunted by an overwhelming desire for gain, this request with your services as a soldier in the field, shows that you are alike honorable and patriotic, and your name should go down to history as a worthy example for the coming generation. Permit me to thank you for your noble letter."

During the Civil War itself, an article appearing in the Philadelphia Daily Evening Bulletin, for May 12th, 1863, entitled, "An Honest Soldier, concerned that of Private JOHN MOHR, of Co. 'E,' Fifth Kentucky Volunteer Infantry (USA), who'd received $104.00 more than was due to him, though as far as 'Uncle Sam' was concerned, the amount was correct. However, Mohr insisted "that he had been overpaid, but failed to convince the paymaster, until he bought proof that a payment made two months previous had not been entered against him."

Mohr's case was investigated and it was found "that his statement was correct, and the Paymaster awarded him $5.00 for his honesty. He had every opportunity to pocket the money, and it never would have been discovered, but his heart was too large to be guilty of such a crime." The article goes on to state, that "John is highly deserving of promotion for his honesty. Aside from this virtue, he is said to be an excellent soldier and has seen hard service."

I share these two above examples of honor and virtue to illustrate the point that in our present age of dependence on the Federal Government it would behoove us to consider the higher wealth and security that comes from personal responsibility and initiative. If all those who wrongfully submit to government help decided to act as the two above mentioned patriots did then our country would immediately cease its backsliding and move forward once again as the world's standard for truth and moral excellence.

Naming a son

In the book, the Long Ships, by Frans G. Bengtsson, there’s a part about the main character, called RED ORM, whose sword is called, ‘Blue-Tongue,’ and he became a Christian, but still practiced an old Viking custom of naming his son. The new child is brought to the father, and as the book states:

  

 “Orm took Blue-Tongue down from her hook on the wall, drew her from her sheath, and placed flour and a few grains of salt upon the tip of her blade.” Then the boy’s head is carefully placed “toward the sword until his tongue and his lips touched the offering.” {Here the Christian priest isn’t very happy about this ‘pagan’ custom and blesses the child with the ‘sign of the cross,’ and believed the ceremony to be evil, since it “involved bringing the child into contact with a weapon of death…”)

  

 Orm’s wife Ylva, however, states to the Christian priest:  “It is the custom for children of noble birth to be initiated thus… For it brings them the courage of chieftains and a contempt for danger, and weapon-luck, and, besides, skill in the choosing of words. I cannot believe that Christ, from all that you tell us about Him, is the sort of god who would be likely to object to any child receiving such gifts as these.”

 Red Orm then states:  “It is a rite honored by time, and the ancients had a great store of wisdom, even though they did not know about Christ. I myself was made to lick a sword-tip for my first meal, and I do not intend that my son, who is King Harald’s grandson, shall  have a worse start in life than I had.”

Love that.

Long live the fighters

Three daughters of Lucifer

I recently came across a statement by the Medieval French soldier, and writer, PHILIPPE de MESIERES  (1327-1405), a Crusading propagandist, who after the defeat of the Christians by the Turks at the ‘Battle of Nicopolis,’ fought in Bulgaria on Sept. 25^th, 1396, he stated in one of his works, that the reason for the defeat of the Christians, was because of what he called:  “The Three daughters of Lucifer,” that of: 

1)Pride   2) Cupidity (the lust or desire for money & possessions)   3) Luxury.

 I like that: ‘The three daughters of Lucifer.’   

It is happening again today. Europeans/Americans can’t come together against a ‘common foe’ or the Muslims, because THOSE THREE VICES are exactly what is plaguing the West: its obsession with ‘things’ and Devil-may-Care living, as happened with ancient Rome, when the ‘Barbarians are at the Gates,’ but no one cares, be they Russians in the Ukraine, or the Islamic threat in all Christian nations.

A Sign For Every Home

“LET THIS PLACE AND THIS FORTRESS BE OUR GLORY, OR VULTURES’ BELLIES BE OUR TOMBS.”

-Siege of Sziget

True Loyalty

"Our hearts must grow resolute, our courage more valiant,
        our spirits must be greater, though our strength grows less.
        Here lies our Lord all hewn down, 

goodly he lies in the dust. 

A kinsman mourns

that who now from this battle-play thinks to turn away.

I am advanced in years. I do not desire to be taken away,

but I by my liege Lord,

by that favorite of men I intend to lie."

 

-Battle of Maldon, Byrhtold

Tempest

A Libyan fable is told that once an eagle, stricken with a dart, said, when he saw the fashion of the shaft,

"WITH OUR OWN FEATHERS, NOT BY OTHERS' HANDS, ARE WE NOW SMITTEN."

We are destroying ourselves from within from a leader who cares for nothing without his own ego. To even discuss him is to overrate him. 

My latest running mantra in times like this when I feel stressed, frustrated, and righteously indignant, is to utter the words of Prometheus from the Greek tragedy, Prometheus Bound.

It states: "ON ME THE TEMPEST FALLS. IT DOES NOT MAKE ME TREMBLE."

So, keep your focus, stay true, and remember that God is at the helm.

Long live the fighters...and faithful

Bear Thine Own Devil Thyself

I have always liked the response of one Northman named Hrafn the Red, who, during an epic battle when his chieftain Sigurd asked him to bear the sacred Raven banner he stated:

"Bear thine own devil thyself."

In other words, keep away from temptation that you KNOW happiness and safety cannot be found in. In the story, the banner had been woven by a sorceress who promised victory as long as it was carried by a Northman in battle. The catch was that whoever carried it would die soon after.

That statement is one of my many power mottos in countering Satan's enticements and fiery darts.

"BEAR THINE OWN DEVIL THYSELF." Try it out and come off conqueror.

Long live the fighters

10 Steps to a Finer Life

Baltasar Gracian, a Jesuit scholar who lived in 17^th century Spain, once observed men in positions of power and concluded that, with intelligence and a rein on one’s emotions, almost anyone could master a situation and be successful. In short, that if you want to achieve the most in life you must be wise in all your dealings.

Here are some helpful ideas on how to do just that:

First, there is no road TO happiness. It is a road OF happiness. We often miss the great things in life because we expect happiness in the future, ignoring the many miracles that are ours to enjoy if we but take greater notice. So, appreciate the little things more as well as the big. Ask yourself: When was the last time you felt the heartbeat of your child or looked up in awe at the night sky? Better yet, did so with a loved one?

Second, don’t let a little dispute ruin a great relationship. Far too many people fill up with resentment rather than forgiveness during a conflict. Such individuals break very easily, revealing how fragile and insecure they really are. Resolve to meet anger with love, considering more of your rich history than the poverty of the moment. Don’t be made of glass.

Third, one of the greatest antidotes to self-centeredness and pride is in finding something bigger than yourself to believe in. It’s ironic how those who feel the highest actually score the lowest in any test for measuring happiness. The actress Goldie Hawn once said: “My father used to tell me, ‘Goldie, when you feel too big for your britches, just go stand in front of that big ocean and feel how small you are.”

Fourth, as the ancient proverb goes, “a good name is to be chosen rather than great riches.” Our names really do carry a lot of weight, either for good or bad depending on how we choose to conduct ourselves. The ancient Samurai used to say that “an ancestors good or evil can be determined by the conduct of his descendants.”

It is my belief then that a descendant should act in a way that will manifest the good in his ancestors and not the bad. In short, remember who you are and act how you would like to be remembered.

Fifth, problems, like rain, are a natural part of life. Resolve to not run indoors whenever hard times come. Often it is from the soaking that we find a renewed sense of peace and joy. Remember that problems are inevitable but the misery we feel is a choice. Accept the fact that nobody gets through life without some sorrow and misfortune. Let it rain.

                                                                    

Six, let go of the past. You may look but don’t stare. For dwelling on past mistakes and hurts only feeds feelings of inadequacy while ignoring opportunities to change now. To live in the past is like driving with both eyes on the rear-view mirror. It’s unsafe, unproductive, and blinds you to what is ahead.

Seven, don’t ever bury your talents. The ancient Samurai also used to say that if a sword is always sheathed, it will become rusty, the blade will dull, and people will think as much of its owner. Make known your strengths and most especially your affections for others by drawing out your love to keep confidence high and your relationships strong and sharp.

Eight, live up to your portion. Be grateful for what you do have rather than murmur about what you don’t. If you’re spending all of your time in the future then you will fail to appreciate all that you have now. Socrates said, “He who is not content with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”

Nine, take time to be. Ironically, there are far more human ‘doings’ in the world than human ‘beings.’ Pause brings peace and stillness greater clarity. Melville once said, “In the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy.” Dedicate a time, daily, to go to the scenery you love most for renewal and to think about your life and whether you are accomplishing what you really want.

Ten, live five minutes at a time. It is said that in ancient Rome, when a victorious general paraded through the streets, his accompanying servant would whisper in his ear: “Memento mori.” Or, “remember your mortality.” Never forget this wise counsel. Life takes on a whole new meaning when you realize time is limited. Don’t waste it. Live for the applause of friends and family who will have become better people simply by knowing you. Strive to be missed, not replaced.