The Family in the Age of Technology

A recent study claimed that American adults used their smartphones about 12 percent of the time in the shower, 19 percent within a church or place of worship, 32 percent at a child’s function taking place at school, 33 percent while on a dinner date, 35 percent while in a movie theater and 55 percent while driving their automobile.

The same study concluded that when it comes to smartphones and relationships, approximately 12 percent of adults believe they get in the way of pursuing intimate relationships with over 70 percent keeping their smartphones within five feet of themselves at all times.

I admit that the findings of this study were not at all surprising to me. In fact, the sobering results only reaffirm to me the many woes and consequences of living in a technological age where apps and upgrades are as prevailing as the present divorce rate.

Since the advent of media at our fingertips, I have wondered at what point we will all just stop paying attention to each other completely and find that family interaction requires more of a conscious effort than natural drive.

This was made clear to me one afternoon when I entered the office and saw a family sitting in the lobby, apart and spaced out, with mom and dad on smartphones and the children texting and playing video games. What struck me the most was not the observed disconnect this family seemed to have with each other, but rather the sound it all produced – silence. Not a single word was spoken.

Let me be clear that I am not anti-technology or smartphone. I believe they do contain many functions and benefits that are both educational and informative. However, I have learned that the brighter the light the darker the shadow with the latter cast by social media dimming our homes from a warm and nurturing environment loving and respectful relationships need to thrive in.

Any farmer will tell you that preparation is important to a successful season in much the same way a well-connected family works to uphold positive and personal attention for one another. But, when the same farmer or parent has become a mobile device, what kind of quality care and attention can the crop, or the family, really receive? Nothing of real substance.

It is therefore both my professional and personal concern that the current trend of mobile distractions will only divide our attentions more from the things that matter most to things that matter least if we choose to keep our heads lowered in neglect of those around us. 

For what real value is our helpfulness if it can only be seen on screen than heard and felt in person?

No doubt there will always be distractions that attempt to pull one away from his or her core family, but that is the test laid before us which we must all strive to pass by protecting the humanity within ourselves and our close relationships.

Albert Einstein once purported that the day would come when technology would overlap humanity and what would be left is a ‘generation of idiots.’ This would be a funnier prediction if it wasn’t already fulfilled. Now it’s just the sad truth of the rising generation and the modern family.

But we need not despair, especially as parents, because we know what life was like prior to the advent of social media and mobile devices.

And if the past seems foggy, here’s a few descriptive words to help generate some ideas to discuss and exemplify within our own homes:

Patience, sacrifice, work, love, respect, responsibility, accountability and thrift.

Such memories and attributes ought to be shared more often with our loved ones for their understanding and emotional growth. That beyond the phone there lies a person (a child, spouse, friend) with feelings and passions who would feel more connected and cared for by way of a hug, a walk, your listening ear, a kindly deed and word or just a little bit of your time spent face to face - no distractions.

It’s ironic that the way we counter the distracting effects of technology on our lives is to distract ourselves away from them. In essence, to unplug ourselves from the matrix of social media in order to reconnect with reality, beginning with our families at both mealtime and playtime.

So, let us lay down our phones and electronic devices in favor of those around us, giving them our undivided attention and support as if we had only five minutes left to live. Because, in the end, what will really matter more and carry the greatest weight, the text or the talk?